Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I wish they made helmets for livers.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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