i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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