Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
