No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize