Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize