Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
