Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
