my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
