How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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