David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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