McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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