Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
