Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
