My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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