thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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