then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
