So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
