Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
