your room smells of hookers.
And success
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Randomize