Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
