I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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