Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
