If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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