I think I died a long time ago.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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