There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize