she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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