bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
