I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
