I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
