My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
