I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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