He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
People in love make me want to vomit
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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