Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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