i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
