just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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