You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
