So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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