I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Randomize
