going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
