Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
