the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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