she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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