Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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