oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
