help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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