it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
