Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
