a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
