I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
The uberlube is also flammable
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
