um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
These tits shall not be calmed
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
