i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
