If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
