Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
