ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize