Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
