TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
