the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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