my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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