Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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