i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
third nipple confirmed
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
