i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize