can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
