at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
