So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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