Can Purell be used as lube?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
