nut hugger
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
