Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Couch. On fire.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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