Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
