The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Randomize
