me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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