Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
